It’s hard bringing up children, even in the most perfect circumstances. But, nowadays, there are so many divergent “family units” that you have to learn to be flexible. Sixty years ago most marriages were “until death do us part.” That is no longer the norm. In fact, approximately 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Not to mention that it’s the rare child today who is raised in a household that doesn’t include other stepsiblings. If you read this article carefully and take the tips here to heart, your path to becoming a successful stepparent will be made easier.

One of the first things that should be done is to sit down together and have an overall family meeting. There is no need to make this into a mandatory scheduled occurrence, but a more relaxed get-together where everyone can talk openly and calmly. As with anyone that becomes the step parent, it can be very tricky the first couple of weeks. The reason you want to do this is to form an open dialogue with the step children is so they felt comfortable talking with you about concerns they may have. The children’s biological parent should be supportive of your new role, and encourage the kids to listen to you. By doing this, everything will be out in the open and any issues can be discussed and dealt with expediently.

Those that find themselves trying to fit into a household with teenagers, and not grade school children, may have their work cut out for them. If this is the case, be ready to be ignored as most teenagers are not willing to accept their own biological parents at this point in time. Although you should not expect acceptance, you should still have some respect and disciplinary actions should still be adhered to. After all, parents aren’t the only authority figures in the lives of children -they also have teachers and others in the community as well. As a step parent, you should try to be supportive of teens as a friend, but also be ready to be firm when it’s necessary to enforce limits. Teens, as a general rule, do not accept things very easily, especially a new parent that is seen as replacing the biological one that is now gone.

Another thing that is important to discuss are the rules and ways that each of you should raise the kids together. Sometimes issues will come up that you didn’t anticipate, such as when you and your partner have a different opinion on something.

For instance, a simple rule is that the biological parent should always have command over decisions made regarding the step children. As the step parent, however, you need to have the ability to voice whatever opinions or thoughts you may have. When both of you talk to the children, always discuss in private what you’re going to say before you talk to them so that you are of the same opinion. Building a relationship with the step children is your first step in moving toward learning your new role as their parent. The above tips can be useful to make this transition easier, but you also need the ability to be flexible and go with the flow in a new family environment. Being accepted by the step children in this new family environment will come with time, especially if you do your best to be a great role model and are very patient.

British Public Schools: Uppingham School

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